Is a Shame Culture worse than a Guilt Culture?

I watched a Youtube video today, by Asian Boss about a Japanese Apology Agency, and it got me thinking about shame cultures and guilt cultures, and about which one is more destructive to a society as a whole, and the individual.

Before I watched the video, I thought that the purpose of the agency was to hire someone to give an apology for you. This was only partly true. It turned out that some customers who use the agency, actually want to make a sincere apology, but were too afraid to do it themselves.

But for other customers, they weren’t looking to make an apology. Instead, they were looking to sort of “erase” their wrongdoings from existence, by using an employee from the agency as a character who acted as a scapegoat to apologize and take the blame for the situation. The agency employee essentially plays a character who apologizes to someone on behalf of the customer. The agent ends up taking the responsibility for something that the customer did wrong.

This is the problem with shame cultures, and why I think shaming is harmful to society and the individual. In shame cultures, when an individual does something wrong, the INDIVIDUAL perceives themselves as inherently wrong, as if there is something wrong with them self, that cannot be changed. The individual is afraid of being shunned by others, afraid of being considered a “bad” individual.

In guilt cultures, when an individual does something wrong, it is the ACTION which is perceived as wrong. So an individual can ask for forgiveness, and intend to never make the same mistake. Forgiveness is the other person seeing that the individual has learned from their wrongdoings, and trusts that the individual has changed.

In a guilt culture, making a mistake is usually forgivable as long as you learn from it. Whereas in a shame culture, making a mistake leads to an individual perceiving themselves as “no good”, and thus why this industry exists. No one wants to be shunned and perceived as a bad person for life, so the solution here is to erase the wrongdoings from existence.

So what do you think is better for a society? An individual who makes a mistake, and then learns why their actions were wrong and apologizes (guilt)? Or an individual who makes a mistake, and hides it from others out of fear of being shunned (shame)?

This apology agency is an example of why shame is a heavier emotion than guilt. In the west, it’s common sense that we should take responsibility for our wrongdoings. It’s a part of growing up. But shame can override this because of fear of being perceived by others as “bad”. Shame restricts us and weighs us down from doing the right thing in this case.

Anyway, I’m not saying that shame culture is worse than a guilt culture, but I thought I’d share my two cents after seeing that video. I’m sure there are also ways in which a guilt culture is worse than a shame culture. But the point of this post is to simply point out a difference in culture that would create this kind of industry.

Climbing the Steep Mountain of a New Beginning


Photo by Sonny Abesamis

Have you ever started a new project, taken on a new challenge, or started anything new and then immediately after felt like you’ve bitten off more than you can chew?

Maybe you have a goal to climb Mount Fuji, and you’re all excited to start, and to get to the top. Then when you arrive, and walk through to the first rest stop, you realize just how huge the mountain is, and you dread all of the work you’re going to have to do to get to the top.

After this kind of realization, it’s like this dark cloud forms above you and all of these self doubts start to come up, and you start to feel like you’re going to have to do a whole lot of work before you see any results.

This happened to me when I first started learning Japanese. It’s so completely different from English, and it seemed like it would take forever to get even some basic conversation skills going, with all of the grammar, words, and Japanese characters that I had to learn.

And it’s true that it did take a long time to get some basic conversations going. But somehow I didn’t let it phase me, and I thought that if I kept going, I’d be closer and closer to reaching my goal. Now I’m able to confidently communicate in everyday situations, and it’s a very satisfying feeling to be at this level.

But if you do feel the same way, like your goal is very far away, don’t let it stop you from pursuing what you want. When we make the decision to start something new, that resistance or anxiousness you might feel are just inner blocks coming up in your mind, such as self limiting beliefs and fears. But these blocks can be overcome if you persist at your goals.

I’m at a phase in my life where I want to overcome my shyness in approaching girls or other strangers that I feel like talking to.

I’ve been shy almost my whole life, and always had a hard time with approaching strangers. But over the years, this has felt more and more of a burden to my freedom, and I feel like I’ve been missing out on a lot of potential great experiences and new relationships. So I made the decision that I would try to overcome my fear of approaching strangers.

Today, I went out with a friend and we approached some girls. It went better than I thought, and my friend and I had a lot of fun, and it wasn’t important to us whether these approaches lead to a date or anything. But after that experience, I noticed how hesitant I was and how nervous I am about rejection.

So all of these fears surfaced, about how hard it would be to overcome all of this nervousness, and how hard it would be to just feel comfortable with talking to random strangers on the street. It seems like there’s a lot of work to be done before I can feel confident, have fun in my interactions, or even get a date with a girl I’m attracted to.

One thing to remember if you’re having a similar experience, is that it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey. I know it sounds cliche, but it’s true. Anytime you make a decision to start something new, it’s because you want to change something about yourself, something that is holding you back from being your best self, or stopping you from having certain experiences.

In order to be free, or to have the experiences you want, a part of you needs to die, in order for something else to be reborn. So this process of death and rebirth of self is the whole meat of the experience, and any rewards that you experience are like extras for you to enjoy.

But the thing that will give you the most satisfaction is not the destination, it’s the realization of how much you’ve changed since you started trying to accomplish your goals, and the freedom to do what you actually want to do.

So if you’re having some inner blocks or fears come up, just allow yourself to experience those fears and blocks, and then to let them go when you’re ready to move towards your goals again. And then get back to working towards those goals. Good luck!

Becoming an Alchemist

Picture by Paul K

Alchemy is the act of transforming something into another thing of greater value. When you confront your own “inner demons”, you are in a way transforming your emotions.

The simple act of being present with fear, sadness, anger, anxiety, or whatever heavy emotions you might be carrying, and being non-judgmental about them is the essence of alchemy. By doing this we let go of heavy emotions, and in their place, we are left with  higher vibration emotions, which are an innate part of our being.

When we think of alchemy, we usually think of gold, and other valuable physical substances. Of course emotions are not physical objects, but the emotions you carry in your subconscious mind do affect your physical experiences because your consciousness directly creates your experience of life.

Would you rather be carrying the emotion of fear, or the feeling of courage and confidence? I think most people would agree that they’d rather be courageous than fearful.

So how do you become courageous? You have to face your fears. How do you become happier? You face your sadness. How do you feel confident and good about yourself? Face you insecurities and self-limiting beliefs.

You’re the one who has the choice. You can either choose to ignore your inner demons, or you can choose to face them and challenge them. I think most people agree that it’s a good thing to face your fears. And maybe we all want to believe that we can and will face our fears. But I think a lot of people struggle to do this.

The problem is not that people don’t want to face their fears. If we use the analogy of slaying dragons, you are the knight. Maybe the problem is that you went to the wrong “Knight training academy” and all you learned was how to kill a teddy bear with a wooden stick. And you didn’t receive proper training about the real dangers of a dragon, and how to defeat one.

Imagine mainstream society being that poorly funded knight academy. They didn’t prepare you to slay dragons, they just gave you a wooden stick and a teddy bear to slay, and told you that real dragons don’t exist. They sheltered you from the dangers that are lurking, and if you ever saw a real dragon, they’d probably call you crazy and delusional or blame you for witchcraft or something.

In our modern society, there is often a stigma attached to mental illness, and western doctors often prescribe potentially dangerous drugs as ways to suppress the symptoms. We are not taught how to properly deal with our inner demons, we are not taught how to slay dragons. This is largely what causes a society that is crippled with mental illness, addiction, etc.

Essentially, we’ve lost the art of alchemy in today’s age. If we can become alchemists and transform our own emotions, we can see how powerful we really are. Because we’re more powerful than we think.

Breaking News: Men Have Stopped Slaying Dragons

The oldest tale known to man is the story of the archetypal hero. It’s the knight who slays the dragon and brings back the gold to the village, it’s the superhero who defeats the supervillian and keep the world safe. It’s a story that’s been told for a very long time in human history, in many different forms across many ages and cultures.

The reason why the hero story is so deep to the human heart, is because of the meaning that the story carries. Young boys grow up, inspired by superheros and strong men who defeat the bad guys; they want to be just like that. Even as adult men, we enjoy a good tale about a guy who starts from the bottom and gains the power to overcome adversity (think Spiderman, Peter Parker is a weak guy who realizes his true power and makes it his responsibility to use his power for good).

Why is this story so deeply touching? Because these stories hint to us, what our purpose is as men. These stories are essentially telling us what the masculine energy represents, and we subconsciously feel very inspired by these tales, because they point us toward our life purpose as men.

Take the story of the dragon-slaying knight, for example. The knight represents the masculine energy. It’s the job of the knight to protect his people from the dangers of the dragon. The dragon is a symbol of chaos. Chaos comes from the feminine energy, that’s why there’s often an evil witch who summons the dragon in the first place.

The knight’s purpose is to defeat the dragon, in order to bring safety to his people, and to bring back the gold, so that his people may prosper. Fighting the dragon is dangerous, and it’s terrifying, but this is the knight’s purpose.

Now let’s relate this story to our daily life, in our modern age society. Obviously we don’t have actual dragons to slay in real life , but we do have metaphorical dragons to slay. That’s why the hero story interests us.

In today’s advanced societies of internet, abundant food/water, and other daily necessities and comforts, we are not in physical danger of dragons destroying our homes. In other words, we are (for the most part) not in any physical danger. Today’s source of danger comes more from emotional problems. Think about the rampant increase in mental disorders like depression and suicide across the globe, especially in advanced societies like America and Japan.

You can say that the modern-day dragons are our own internal emotional dragons (hence the term ‘inner demons’ to describe the negative emotions which lurk hidden within us). They usually come out when we try to step out our comfort zones, overcome some kind of fear, make a positive change in our lives, or accomplish something difficult.

The world right now is in chaos. People are depressed, feeling trapped in 9-5 jobs, and always looking for an escape from the grind of daily life. Men and women are becoming more and more disconnected, as one night stands and hook-ups replace actual relationships, and many men turn to relationship substitutes, such as pornography, prostitution, or even very soon, sex bots. Birth rates are declining, mental disorders are increasing.

What is the problem? Why are thing in such chaos right now? Because as a society, men are taught that in order to be a man, they need to be strong. The idea is that strong men don’t show their emotions. This creates a lot of men who are totally out of touch with their emotions, and instead using drugs and other addictions to cope with the emotions that they feel.

Basically, men lose their power when they choose to hide from their internal chaos. You can say that they aren’t slaying the dragons. They are refusing to even admit that the dragons (negative feelings) are there in the first place. They do whatever they can to distract themselves from acknowledging the existence of the dragons. This means drugs, porn, partying, videos games, sex, gambling and many other things. Anything that gives short term pleasure, because that pleasure masks the negative feelings.

What would happen in the hero’s story, if all the knights refused to acknowledge the existence of the dragon? Maybe they would pretend the dragon doesn’t exist, by chilling at the bar and getting wasted with their other knight buddies. Eventually the dragon would come and destroy the town. That’s the consequence of not facing the dragon. It’s destruction. Chaos takes over and all is lost. It’s tragic.

So why do you think the world is in such chaos? Men aren’t slaying the god-damn dragons, because they’re not facing their negative emotions. Once men start getting back to their dragon slaying selves, they’ll begin to discover their true power. This is when we can start bringing back order and stability back to our world.

Here’s how to slay dragons, in case you don’t know where to start.

Happy dragon slaying!

Coffee Time Thoughts: Cryptocurrency’s relation to 5D consciousness shift?

Cryptocurrencies have been getting a lot of publicity lately, especially Bitcoin. I’m not going to go into what a cryptocurrency is, so you can read an intro about it here, if you’re not familiar.

A lot of dramatic political events and world events have also been happening recently, which you’re probably aware of, unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past year or so (think Donald Trump, North Korean missiles, ISIS, etc).

About Paper Money and Stocks

Let’s think about stocks and fiat currency first. I’m no expert on economical or financial matters, so please bare with me and my layman’s knowledge on the matters.

The money that rules all of our societies in modern life, is a fiat currency. It means that it is a currency which has no intrinsic value, unlike other currencies such as gold (which is a rare and precious metal). The value of this type of currency comes from our conscious belief that it is valuable.

Paper money is a fiat currency because it has no intrinsic value; it is just paper. So why is it valuable? Because we believe it has value; we give paper money its value solely by collectively believing and agreeing that it is valuable.

It’s as if our conscious mental energy/beliefs are given a physical representation as paper money. What is that law in psychics, again? That energy cannot be created or destroyed, only transformed. Well, with fiat currency, our conscious energy is represented in a physical form, as “valuable” paper money.

The stock market works the same way. One thing that gives a stock its value, are the investors’ beliefs that the stock/company is valuable. Investor Jimmy thinks “Oh man, this stock is a great investment because the value is gonna go up sometime in the future, and I’ll make some money”. So investor Jimmy buys the stocks, with the belief that the value will increase. If lots of investor’s are buying these stocks, the stock value increases.

Once investors think the stock is going to decrease in value, they sell, in order to get their money back before the stock value drops too low. When people sell the stock, it’s as if they are consciously choosing to believe that the stock is no longer valuable, they are opting out and putting their belief back into the fiat currency that they spent to buy the stock in the first place. The flow of fiat money to buy or sell stocks is like a metaphorical representation of our changing conscious beliefs.

Of course this is an oversimplified way of how the stock market. As I said, I’m not by any means an expert in this area.

How are cyptocurrencies and current world events related?

So back to cryptocurrencies. They don’t have any centralized bank or government, unlike our paper money, which is controlled by central banks/the government. The government has the ability print more money, and the more they print, the lower the value our paper money has.

With all the volatility happening in the world right now, I think people are starting to question their governments’ true interests and intentions. People are waking up to the lies and the state of control that the governments seem to have us locked into, and gradually, more and more people are losing their trust in the governments. Think Trump and his denying of climate change. Who’s interests does he really have in heart? The planet’s, or the rich oil companies who will lose their profits if we switch to a free/renewable energy source?

The collective’s awakening  and unhappiness in face of the grim state of our world and it’s governments, to me, is related to what is happening with cryptocurrencies. As more and more people are losing trust in their governments, they are consciously and/or subconsciously finding ways to resist the government’s lies and their attempts to keep us controlled.

By increasingly transferring fiat money into bitcoin, it’s as if the collective is symbolically choosing to misplace their trust and belief in the government, and in the value of fiat currency. And instead, putting that conscious belief into a source of money which is decentralized and not controlled by anyone. They are buying cryptocurrencies because they believe that it’s valuable, and the way of the future. Governments and centralized banks will gradually lose their influence as cryptocurrenicies gain more collective support.

How does this relate to the 5D shift?

One of my beliefs is that we are collectively, as a human race, shifting into a more interconnected, freer and heart-based consciousness (shifting into 5D consciousness). I’m not gonna go into what that means now, you can read about that elsewhere. Part of this shift is the breaking down of fear/control based institutions such as the governments, and others who are influencing and pulling the strings in our society.

I believe that the collapse of fiat currency and centralized governments is an important step toward the shift to 5D consciousness. We need to be free of the government, we need to be free of them controlling us, so we can all be empowered human beings making our own decisions, rather than blind sheep or slaves lead by the government.

I’m not saying that cryptocurrencies are the answer that will save all of humanity from the government’s control. Or that a cryptocurrency based society is better than a fiat currency based society. All I’m saying is that this recent popularity in bitcoins and other cryptocurrencies is a sign of the collectives’ shift in beliefs, which may or may not eventually lead to the collapse of centralized banks, and controlling government structures.

So to me, this trend is step in the right direction for our own freedom from the government. I don’t know much about cryptocurrencies, how they were created, where the idea came from, or the intention behind them. I’ve even heard that some people believe cryptocurrencies were created by AI to control humanity, that it came from aliens, and lots of other wild theories, but I honestly don’t know the truth. So I’ll leave that discussion for another time.